In Violation Mailer Disclaimer / Read Carefully:
ATTORNEY (AND THE PRONOUN "WE") SHALL REFER TO ATTORNEY JOE COIMBRA AND/OR HIS EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, VENDORS, AND/OR REPRESENTATIVES IN ANY CAPACITY WHATSOEVER AND/OR COLLECTIVELY "SECOND CHANCES LAW GROUP, APC". THE WORDS AND/OR PHRASES "LETTER", "MAILER”, "MAILER TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS" AND "MAILER AND ENVELOPE TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS" SHALL BE USED INTERCHANGEABLY HEREIN. WE MAKE NO ABSOLUTELY WARRANTY THAT OUR 888 PHONE NUMBER IS TOLL FREE, ALTHOUGH WE BELIEVE IT TO BE BASED ON THE REPRESENTATIVES OF THE VENDOR THAT PROVIDES ATTORNEY WITH OUR 888 PHONE NUMBER. THIS LETTER DOES NOT CONSTITUTE ANY "OFFICIAL NOTICE" ON BEHALF OF ANY GOVERNMENT ENTITY NOR DO WE ISSUE ANY GUARANTEE, WARRANTY, ASSURANCE OR PROMISE THAT THE PUBLIC INFORMATION ON WHICH THE ASSERTION THAT YOU ARE "IN VIOLATION" OF PENAL CODE SECTION 290 (HEREINAFTER, "YOUR PC290 REGISTRATION OBLIGATION") IS EXACT, ACCURATE OR PRECISE. THIS LETTER IS SIMPLY TO NOTIFY YOU OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR CRIMINAL DEFENSE LEGAL SERVICES, PARTICULARLY IF YOU ARE SUSPECTED AND/OR BEING INVESTIGATED AND/OR BEING CHARGED WITH BEING IN VIOLATION OF YOUR PC290 REGISTRATION OBLIGATION. WE ALSO DO NOT WARRANT OR GUARANTEE IN ANY WAY THAT YOUR ALLEGED “IN VIOLATION” IS CURRENT OR TIMELY, AS IT MAY BE BASED ON STALE OR EXPIRED INFORMATION. WE DO NOT CONTROL THE PUBLIC RECORD ON WHICH OUR FINDINGS ARE BASED.
WE ASSUME NO RESPONSIBILITY (AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM RESPONSIBILITY) FOR THIS LETTER ARRIVING AT YOUR ADDRESS. YOU RECEIVED THIS LETTER MERELY, SIMPLY AND ONLY BECAUSE PUBLICLY-AVAILABLE RECORDS SHOW THAT YOUR RESIDENCE, EITHER CURRENTLY OR AT SOME POINT IN THE RECENT OR DISTANT PAST, HOUSED A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER (OR THAT A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER USED THIS ADDRESS AS HIS OR HER MAILING ADDRESS). OUR LETTER IS MERELY, EXCLUSIVELY AND SIMPLY A STATEMENT OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES, NOTHING MORE. IT DOES NOT CONSTITUTE ANY OFFICIAL NOTICE FROM ANY GOVERNMENT AGENCY WHATSOEVER. IF IT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU, PLEASE DISREGARD AND/OR ***POLITELY*** CONTACT OUR OFFICE SO THAT YOU MAY BE REMOVED FROM OUR MAILING LIST.
ANY RUDE AND/OR ABUSIVE COMMUNICATIONS WILL BE CAREFULLY DOCUMENTED AND ANY CRIMINAL THREATS AND/OR HARASSMENT WILL BE SWIFTLY REPORTED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT!
FREE CONSULATION WITH ATTORNEY IS IN-PERSON ONLY. HOWEVER, PRIOR THERETO, YOU WILL BE ASKED A SERIES OF QUESTIONS BY OUR INTAKE PERSONNEL TO BETTER ASSIST IN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR CASE. YOUR APPOINTMENT, IF ANY IS MADE, WILL BE CANCELLED IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH THIS OVER-THE-PHONE INTAKE. NONE OF THE VERBIAGE, EXPRESSIONS, WORDS, PHRASES, INSIGNIA AND/OR CHARACTERS OF ANY KIND ARE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, OR IN THEIR COMBINED USE, INTENDED TO MISLEAD ANYONE NOR ESTABLISH ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP NOR IMPART ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, WARRANTY NOR PROMISE OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OUTCOME WHATSOEVER.
NO GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, PROMISE, ASSURANCE, AND/OR REPRESENTATION OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OR OTHER DESIRED OUTCOME, IS CONVEYED WHATSOEVER IN OUR LETTER (NOR IN ANY OTHER COMMUNICATION OR CONVEYANCE IN ANY FORMAT DISSEMINATED OR ESTABLISHED AT ANY TIME). NO ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP IS ESTABLISHED BY YOUR RECEIPT OF OUR COMMUNICATION; IN FACT, A SEPARATE ATTORNEY-CLIENT AGREEMENT AND REMITTAL OF REMUNERATION TO ATTORNEY (IN AN AMOUNT SATISFACTORY TO ATTORNEY) ARE REQUIRED BEFORE ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP CAN OR MAY BE FORMED, CREATED, COMMENCED AND/OR ESTABLISHED.
THE WORD "EMERGENCY" AS IN "EMERGENCY LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER" APPEARS MERELY TO INDICATE THE URGENCY THAT ATTORNEY BELIEVES EXISTS WHENEVER CRIMINAL ACCUSATION(S), ALLEGATION(S), INVESTIGATION(S), CONVICTION(S), POST-CONVICTION BURDENS SUCH AS PROBATION (AND/OR ANY OTHER EVENT(S) AT ANY STAGE(S) OF ANY PROCESS RELATING TO CRIMINAL AND/OR PENAL CODE VIOLATION(S) AND/OR ANY OTHER VIOLATIONS OF LOCAL AND/OR STATE AND/OR FEDERAL CODE(S), LAW(S), REGULATION(S), RULE(S), STATUTE(S), ETC.) ARE INVOLVED. THIS IS PARTICULARLY SO CONSIDERING THE POTENTIAL HARSHNESS OF PENALTY/IES, PUNISHMENT(S), POSSIBLE INCARCERATION AND/OR IMPRISONMENT AND/OR LOSS OF FREEDOM AND/OR OTHER ADVERSE DIRECT AND INDIRECT CONSEQUENCES THAT MAY IMPINGUE UPON YOUR RIGHTS AND/OR PRIVILEGES. AS SUCH, THE ATTORNEY HARBORS A REASONABLE GOOD FAITH BELIEF THAT ISSUES SUCH AS THOSE ADDRESSED IN THIS MAILER AND/OR GENERALLY AS EXIST IN THE AREA OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND CRIMINAL DEFENSE ARE NECESSARILY AND GENERALLY ALWAYS OF AN "EMERGENCY" NATURE TO THE DEGREE THAT ADVERSE REPERCUSSIONS MAY OCCUR IF ANY CRIMINAL ACCUSATION, CHARGE, SUSPICION, INVESTIGATION, ARREST, INTERROGATION, PROSECUTION AND/OR OTHER ADVERSE CRIMINAL EVENT IS NEGLECTED OR NOT TIMELY ADDRESSED BY COMPETENT AND EXPERIENCED CRIMINAL DEFENSE COUNSEL; IN OTHER WORDS, ATTORNEY REASONABLY AND IN GOOD FAITH BELIEVES THAT ANY CRIMINAL MATTER IS, BY DEFINITION AND/OR IN EFFECT, AN EMERGENCY SITUATION CONSIDERING THE RAPIDITY, VIGOR AND DISCIPLINE WITH WHICH LOCAL AND/OR STATE AND/OR FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT PURSUE THOSE PERSONS WHO ARE SUSPECTED OF HAVING RUN AFOUL OF APPLICABLE LAWS, IN THIS CASE (I.E., AS ADDRESSED IN THE MAILER YOU RECEIVED, A FAILURE TO REGISTER AS A SEX OFFENDER). IN OTHER WORDS, NEGLECTING SUCH PROSPECTIVE AND/OR ACTUALIZED LEGAL EVENTS MAY BE CATASTROPHIC TO THE PERSON(S) WHO IS/ARE THE SUBJECT OF INVESTIGATION AND/OR ARREST AND/OR PROBATION VIOLATION AND/OR PROSECUTION. THEREFORE, IT IS AMPLY AND OBJECTIVELY FAIR TO LABEL ATTORNEY'S LETTER AN "EMERGENCY LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER."
TO RECEIVE DISCOUNT, YOU MUST PRODUCE THIS MAILER AND ENVELOPE TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS (NO REPRODUCTIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED). THE WORDS "DISCOUNT" AND "VOUCHER CODE" ARE INTERCHANGEABLE AND NOT SEPARATE AND DISTINCT. THE INVOCATION OF THE VOUCHER CODE IS INSUFFICIENT; LETTER RECEIVED BY RECIPIENT WITH ENVELOPE MUST BE PRODUCED TO ATTORNEY. DISCOUNTS CANNOT BE USED IN COMBINATION. ONE DISCOUNT PER CLIENT AND PER CASE ONLY. DISCOUNT USEABLE AGAINST THE ENTIRE FEE ONLY AND NOT TOWARDS THE DEPOSIT, MONTHLY INSTALLMENTS OR ANY OTHER FRAGMENTS OR FRACTIONS CONTAINED IN THE TOTAL FEE, NOR AGAINST ANY COST REIMBURSEMENTS. ATTORNEY IS NOT UNDER ANY OBLIGATION TO HONOR THE DISCOUNT, NOR VOUCHER CODE; ATTORNEY IS FREE TO SET ANY LIMITATION HE CHOOSES AT ANY TIME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO REFUSAL TO HONOR ANY DISCOUNT OR VOUCHER CODE.
BY CONTACTING OUR OFFICE IN ANY WAY (EITHER YOURSELF OR ANY THIRD PARTY ACTING ON YOUR BEHALF WHATSOEVER), YOU AGREE TO FOLLOWING: BINDING ARBITRATION (IN LA COUNTY), WAIVER OF RIGHT TO JURY TRIAL, WAIVER OF CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS, WAIVER OF PRIVATE ATTORNEY-GENERAL ACTIONS AND/OR ANY OTHER PROCEEDING WHERE SOMEONE ACTS IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, AND PAYMENT OF ATTORNEY'S FEES AND COSTS TO ATTORNEY IN EVENT OF DISPUTE ARISING FROM THIS OR ANY CORRESPONDENCE FROM OUR FIRM OR ANY SUBJECT MATTER WHATSOEVER AND CONSENT TO RECEIVING FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS FROM OUR OFFICE IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER.
IF ANY ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC., WHATSOEVER ARE HELD TO BE UNENFORCEABLE UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC., WILL BE MODIFIED SO THAT IT IS ENFORCEABLE TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, AND ALL THE OTHER TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT. IF THE UNENFORCEABLE ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. CANNOT BE SO MODIFIED, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL BE EXCLUDED FROM THIS DISCLAIMER AND ALL OTHER ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT.
WE DO NOT WHATSOEVER REPRESENT THAT WE HAVE FULL-TIME AND/OR PART-TIME FACILITY/IES (INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO "OFFICE(S)") IN YOUR SPECIFIC CITY, LOCALE OR EVEN IN YOUR PROXIMITY. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF OUR HEADQUARTERS, REGIONAL OFFICES, IF ANY ARE AVAILABLE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY, ARE CONSULTATIVE ONLY AND ARE NOT FULL-TIME OCCUPANCIES (NEITHER DO WE REPRESENT EITHER IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY THAT SUCH FACILITY/IES AND/OR OFFICE(S) ARE ANYTHING EXCEPT CONSULTATIVE FACILITIES, IF ANY); JUXTAPOSITION OF CITY AND 'LAW FIRM' AND/OR 'LAW OFFICE' AND/OR WORD(S) ON THE ENVELOPE IN WHICH THE MAILER WAS INCLUDED IS SIMPLY MEANT TO ILLUSTRATE THE GENERAL AND POSSIBLE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES TO RESIDENTS AND/OR DOMICILIARIES AND/OR OCCUPANTS, PERSON(S) AND/OR ENTITY/IES WHO RESIDE AND/OR DO BUSINESS AND/OR ARE EMPLOYED IN THE NAMED CITY/IES, INCLUDING THE CITY WHERE YOU RECEIVED THE MAILER (I.E., CITY WHERE YOU LIVE, RESIDE, OR DO BUSINESS); THE JUXTAPOSITION OF CITY AND 'LAW FIRM' AND/OR 'LAW OFFICE' AND/OR WORD(S) ON THE ENVELOPE IN WHICH THE MAILER WAS INCLUDED IS NOT TO CONVEY THAT WE HAVE A FULL-TIME OR EVEN A PART-TIME OFFICE (I.E., "BRICK AND MORTAR") IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY.
WE STRIVE FOR ACCURACY; ANY INACCURACY/IES IN THIS LETTER AND/OR IN ANY OF OUR PROMOTIONAL OR ANY MATERIAL(S) IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER IS/ARE PURELY INADVERTENT. SERVICES ARE NOT FREE. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE A CONSULTATION TO ANYBODY FOR ANY REASON. ATTORNEY CONDUCTS BUSINESS IN ONLY THE VERY HIGHEST OF FAIR DEALINGS, INTEGRITY, TRUTHFULNESS AND HONESTY AND NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (NOR IN ANY OF OUR MATERIALS IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER) IS INTENDED TO BE ANYTHING EXCEPT COMPLETELY TRUTHFUL, HONEST, UPRIGHT AND ETHICAL. WE ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUMMARILY CANCEL ANY EXISTING APPOINTMENT AT ANY TIME. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT NOT TO RESPOND TO ANY COMMUNICATION CONVEYED TO ATTORNEY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM AND FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. ATTORNEY ALONE DECIDES SUBJECT MATTER, LENGTH AND CONTENT OF YOUR FREE CONSULTATION. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER ESTABLISHES ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER, NOR DOES IT CONVEY ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE, PROMISE AND/OR ELIGIBILITY FOR ANY PARTICULAR TYPE OF LEGAL RELIEF WHATSOEVER NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE AND/OR PROMISE OF ANY POSITIVE, DESIRED OR PARTICULARIZED OUTCOME WHATSOEVER. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (BE IT PROMOTIONAL VERBIAGE, PAST SUCCESS, TESTIMONIALS, AWARDS OR ANYTHING ELSE) IS MEANT TO IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY CONVEY THAT WE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL WITH YOUR CASE. EACH CASE IS DIFFERENT; RESULTS MAY VARY. WE DO NOT REPRESENT YOUR "FREE CONSULTATION" IS ANYTHING EXCEPT A FREE, INITIAL IN-PERSON CONSULTATION WITH THE ATTORNEY.
"VIEW OUR AMAZING CASE RESULTS" IS BY NO MEANS ANY EXPRESSION OF A GUARANTEE, WARRANTY OF ANY COMPARABLE RESULT IN YOUR PARTICULAR CASE. "AMAZING" IS A FIGURATIVE AND SUBJECTIVE STATEMENT OF OPINION ONLY AND IS NOT MEANT TO CONVEY ANY PROMISE, WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL OBTAIN A COMPARABLE OR SIMILAR RESULT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT EACH CASE AND ITS ATTENDANT FACTS, COMPLEXITIES AND AVAILABLE REMEDIES CARRY ITS OWN VASTLY UNIQUE, DISTINCT COMPONENTS, REMEDIES, VARIABLES, FACTORS, NUANCES, SUBTLETIES, IDIOSYNRACIES, FACTUAL BACKGROUNDS, FACT PATTERNS, ETC. "TRUSTED" BADGE MERELY DENOTES ATTORNEY'S PERSONAL BELIEF THAT HE IS AN HONEST, ETHICAL AND MORALLY- AND LEGALLY-UPRIGHT IN ALL OF HIS PERSONAL AND BUSINESS DEALINGS, CUSTOMS, HABITS, AND INTERACTIONS WITH HIS CLIENTS AND MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC AND GENERAL BELIEF IN HIS OWN TRUSTWORTHINESS; IT DOES NOT DENOTE ANY OBJECTIVE, THIRD-PARTY OFFICIAL COMMENDATION, LABEL OR DESIGNATION GRANTED UPON HIM BY ANY ORGANIZATION, INDIVIDUAL OR ENTITY PER SE.
AS CONCERNS THE LANGUAGE ON THE MAILER:
THE PHRASE "YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS EMERGENCY LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER BECAUSE PUBLIC RECORDS SHOW THAT YOU ARE IN VIOLATION" IS INTENDED TO REFLECT (AND THUS BE CONSTRUED) AS FOLLOWS. PUBLIC RECORDS INDICATE THAT YOU ARE "IN VIOLATION", FROM WHICH WORDS ATTORNEY GLEANS AND THUS HARBORS THE REASONABLE GOOD FAITH BELIEF THAT THE INTENDED RECIPIENT HAS FAILED TO ABIDE WITH HIS OR HER REGISTRATION OBLIGATION PURSUANT TO PENAL CODE SECTION 290 (OR THAT SOME OTHER EVENT THAT WOULD TRIGGER THE INDICATION OF "IN VIOLATION" OCCURRED). WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE (AND DISCLAIM RESPONSIBILITY) IF YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY IN VIOLATION OF PENAL CODE SECTION 290. WE DO NOT GUARANTEE, WARRANT, ASSURE OR PROMISE THAT THE PUBLIC RECORDS (UPON WHICH OUR MAILER IS BASED) ARE EXACT, PRECISE OR CORRECT. ANY INACCURACY AND/OR ERROR IS PURELY AND ENTIRELY INADVERTENT. "DID YOU FORGET TO REGISTER AS A SEX OFFENDER WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO?" IS SIMPLY A QUESTION AND NOT NECESSARILY AN INCONTROVERTIBLE ASSERTION THAT YOU DID NOT REGISTER, SINCE WE CAN ONLY GO BY WHAT PUBLIC RECORDS INDICATE. IT IS NOT OUTSIDE THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY THAT SOME GLITCH OCCURRED THAT OCCASIONED THE APPLICABLE PUBLIC RECORD(S) TO REFLECT THAT YOU ARE "IN VIOLATION".