Program Mail Disclaimer / Read Carefully:
ATTORNEY (AND THE PRONOUN "WE") SHALL REFER TO ATTORNEY JOE COIMBRA AND/OR HIS EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, VENDORS, AND/OR REPRESENTATIVES IN ANY CAPACITY WHATSOEVER AND/OR COLLECTIVELY "SECOND CHANCES LAW GROUP, APC". IF YOU CONTACT US VIA TEXT, STANDARD TEXT MESSAGE RATES MAY APPLY THROUGH YOUR PROVIDER AND/OR ANY OTHER ENTITY(IES). RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IS BY NO MEANS AN ADVERSE REFLECTION ON THE PERSON RECEIVING IT. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE RECIPIENT HAS A CRIMINAL RECORD. IT IS SIMPLY TO NOTIFY THE RECIPIENT PERSON(S) AND/OR PARTY/IES TO INFORM PROGRAM ATTENDEES, PATIENTS AND/OR CLIENTS THAT OUR OFFICE IS AVAILABLE TO HELP CHALLENGE ANY AND ALL CRIMINAL BACKGROUND BLEMISHES, CONVICTIONS, ERRORS, OMISSIONS AND/OR ANY OTHER ADVERSE INFORMATION.
FREE CONSULATION WITH ATTORNEY IS IN-PERSON ONLY. HOWEVER, PRIOR THERETO, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO ANSWER QUESTIONS BY OUR INTAKE PERSONNEL TO BETTER ASSIST IN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR CASE. YOUR APPOINTMENT, IF ANY IS MADE, WILL BE CANCELLED IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH THIS OVER-THE-PHONE INTAKE. NONE OF THE VERBIAGE, EXPRESSIONS, WORDS, PHRASES, INSIGNIA AND/OR CHARACTERS OF ANY KIND ARE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, OR IN THEIR COMBINED USE, INTENDED TO MISLEAD ANYONE NOR ESTABLISH ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP NOR IMPART ANY LEGAL ADVICE OR GUARANTEE, WARRANTY OR PROMISE OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OUTCOME WHATSOEVER. NO GUARANTEE, WARRANTY OR PROMISE OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDINB BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OUTCOME IS HEREIN CONVEYED. NO ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP IS ESTABLISHED BY YOUR RECEIPT OF OUR COMMUNICATION; A SEPARATE ATTORNEY-CLIENT AGREEMENT AND AGREED-UPON REMUNERATION TO ATTORNEY ARE REQUIRED BEFORE ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP CAN BE CREATED. THE WORD "EMERGENCY" IN "EMERGENCY LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER" IS INCLUDED MERELY TO INDICATE THE URGENCY THAT ATTORNEY BELIEVES EXISTS WHENEVER CRIMINAL RECORDS ARE INVOLVED CONSIDERING THE EVER-FLUID, EVER-EVOLVING NATURE OF THE LAW, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED STATUTORY AND CASE LAW (INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO APPELLATE RULINGS WHICH MAY HAVE A PRECEDENTIAL IMPACT ON ANY LEGAL REMEDIES, IF ANY, WHICH MAY BE AVAILABLE IN YOUR CASE. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LETTER ARRIVING AT YOUR RESIDENCE OR ADDRESS. PUBLIC INFORMATION REVEALS THAT AN ESTABLISHMENT OF REHABILITATION CONDUCTS BUSINESS AT YOUR ADDRESS. IF THIS LETTER OR ITS CONTENTS DO NOT APPLY TO YOU, SIMPLY DISREGARD IT. TO RECEIVE DISCOUNT, YOU MUST PRODUCE THIS LETTER (NO REPRODUCTIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED ). THE WORDS DISCOUNT AND VOUCHER CODE ARE INTERCHANGEABLE AND NOT SEPARATE AND DISTINCT.
DISCOUNTS CANNOT BE USED IN COMBINATION. ONE DISCOUNT PER CLIENT AND PER CASE ONLY. DISCOUNT USEABLE AGAINST THE ENTIRE FEE ONLY AND NOT TOWARDS THE DEPOSIT, MONTHLY INSTALLMENTS OR ANY OTHER FRAGMENTS OR FRACTIONS CONTAINED IN THE TOTAL FEE, NOR AGAINST ANY COST REIMBURSEMENTS. ATTORNEY NOT UNDER ANY OBLIGATION TO HONOR THE DISCOUNT, NOR VOUCHER CODE; ATTORNEY IS FREE TO SET ANY LIMITATION HE CHOOSES AT ANY TIME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO REFUSAL TO HONOR. BE AWARE THAT HARASSING OR THREATENING CALLS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AND WILL BE REFERRED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT. BY CONTACTING OUR OFFICE IN ANY WAY (EITHER YOURSELF OR ANY THIRD PARTY ACTING ON YOUR BEHALF WHATSOEVER), YOU AGREE TO FOLLOWING: BINDING ARBITRATION (IN LA COUNTY), WAIVER OF RIGHT TO JURY TRIAL, WAIVER OF CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS, WAIVER OF PRIVATE ATTORNEY-GENERAL ACTIONS AND/OR ANY OTHER PROCEEDING WHERE SOMEONE ACTS IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, AND PAYMENT OF ATTORNEY'S FEES AND COSTS TO ATTORNEY IN EVENT OF DISPUTE ARISING FROM THIS OR ANY CORRESPONDENCE FROM OUR FIRM OR ANY SUBJECT MATTER WHATSOEVER AND CONSENT TO RECEIVING FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS FROM OUR OFFICE IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER. ALL TERMS HEREIN ARE SEVERABLE IN EVENT ONE OR MORE IS RENDERED UNENFORCEABLE. WE DO NOT REPRESENT THAT WE HAVE FULL-TIME FACILITY/IES IN YOUR SPECIFIC CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY. WITH EXCEPTION OF OUR HQ, REGIONAL OFFICES ARE CONSULTATIVE ONLY, NOT FULL-TIME OCCUPANCIES; JUXTAPOSITION OF CITY AND 'LAW FIRM' ON ENVELOPE IS SIMPLY MEANT TO ILLUSTRATE THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES TO RESIDENTS OF THE NAMED CITY/IES, INCLUDING CITY WHERE YOU LIVE, NOT TO CONVEY WE HAVE FULL-TIME OFFICE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY. WE STRIVE FOR ACCURACY; ANY INACCURACY IN THIS LETTER IS PURELY INADVERTENT. SERVICES ARE NOT FREE. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE A CONSULTATION TO ANYBODY FOR ANY REASON. WE ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUMMARILY CANCEL ANY EXISTING APPOINTMENT AT ANY TIME.
ATTORNEY ALONE DECIDES SUBJECT MATTER, LENGTH AND CONTENT OF YOUR FREE CONSULTATION. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER ESTABLISHES ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER, NOR DOES IT CONVEY ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, PROMISE, ELIGIBILITY FOR ANY PARTICULAR TYPE OF LEGAL RELIEF NOR ANY WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE OF ANY POSITIVE OR PARTICULARIZED OUTCOME WHATSOEVER. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (BE IT PROMOTIONAL VERBIAGE, PAST SUCCESS, AWARDS OR ANYTHING ELSE) IS MEANT TO CONVEY ANY GUARANTEE OF SUCCESS IN YOUR CASE. EACH CASE IS DIFFERENT; RESULTS MAY VARY. WE DO NOT REPRESENT YOUR "FREE CONSULTATION" IS ANYTHING EXCEPT A FREE, INITIAL IN-PERSON CONSULTATION WITH THE ATTORNEY. "CLEAN UP RECORD" "RECORD CLEAN-UP" OR ANY WORDS OR PHRASES OF SIMILAR VERBIAGE OR IMPORT ARE NOT INTEDED TO BE INTEREPRETED LITERALLY; THEY ARE FIGURATIVE WORDS/TERMS MERELY INDICATING THE POSSIBILITY OF APPLYING FOR CERTAIN REMEDIES THAT EASE THE LEGAL HANDICAPS ASSOCIATED WITH CRIMINAL RECORD. WE DO NOT WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE OR IN ANY WAY INTEND TO COMMUNICATE THAT YOUR RECORD CAN LITERALLY BE CLEANED, ERASED, REMOVED OR SIMILARLY DISPOSED. "TAKE YOUR FIRST STEP TOWARD FREEDOM" IS A FIGURATIVE STATEMENT ONLY. IT DOES NOT DENOTE OR GUARANTEE THAT SCHEDULING A CONSULTATION IS LITERALLY ONE'S STEP TO ACTUALLY BEING REMOVED FROM THE REGISTRY, BUT, RATHER, AN INVITATION TO SIT DOWN WITH ATTORNEY TO DISCUSS LEGAL POSSIBILITY/IES, IF ANY, EXIST TO CHALLENGE PC 290 REGISTRATION AND/OR ITS ASSOCIATED LEGAL HANDICAPS. "AND HURRY! SCHEDULE YOUR FREE, IN PERSON CONSULT NOW BEFORE APPOINTMENT SLOTS ARE ALL FILLED UP!" IS MERELY TO INDICATE THAT CERTAIN APPOINTMENT DAYS MAY GET BOOKED SUCH THAT APPOINTMENT AVAILABILITY ON A PARTICULAR DATE MAY BECOME DIFFICULT IF ONE WAITS TOO LONG TO CALL ATTORNEY'S OFFICE.
"AWARD-WINNING RECORD CLEAN-UP DEFENSE LAW FIRM" IS INTENDED TO COMMUNICATE (1) THAT ATTORNEY HAS WON AWARDS; (2) "RECORD CLEAN-UP" IS INTENDED TO CONVEY A CATCH-ALL TERM FOR POST-CONVICTION RELIEF SUCH AS BUT NOT INCLUDING EXPUNGEMENT, REDUCTION FROM FELONY TO MISDEMEANOR, EARLY TERMINATION OF PROBATION AND ANY OTHER FORM OF RELIEF THAT MAY HELP ALLAY AND/OR MITIGATE THE CONSEQUENCES OF A PAST CRIMINAL CONVICTION (3) THE PHRASE "AWARD-WINNING" IS NOT MEANT TO BE AN ADJECTIVE FOR "RECORD CLEAN-UP" DEFENSE LAW FIRM; CONFIGURATION OF WORDS AS THEY APPEAR IS NECESSARY CONSIDERING THE CONSTRAINTS OF SPACE ON THE LETTER.
"VIEW OUR AMAZING CASE RESULTS" IS BY NO MEANS ANY EXPRESSION OF A GUARANTEE, WARRANTY OF ANY COMPARABLE RESULT IN YOUR PARTICULAR CASE. "AMAZING" IS A FIGURATIVE AND SUBJECTIVE STATEMENT OF OPINION ONLY AND IS NOT MEANT TO CONVEY ANY PROMISE, WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL OBTAIN A COMPARABLE OR SIMILAR RESULT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT EACH CASE AND ITS ATTENDANT FACTS, COMPLEXITIES AND AVAILABLE REMEDIES CARRY ITS OWN VASTLY UNIQUE, DISTINCT COMPONENTS, REMEDIES, VARIABLE, FACTORS, BACKGROUNDS, FACT PATTERNS, ETC. "TRUSTED" BADGE MERELY DENOTES ATTORNEY'S PERSONAL CONVICTION THAT HE IS AN HONEST, ETHICAL AND MORALLY- AND LEGALLY-UPRIGHT IN ALL OF HIS PERSONAL AND BUSINESS DEALINGS, CUSTOMS, HABITS, AND INTERACTIONS WITH HIS CLIENTS AND MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC AND GENERAL BELIEF IN HIS OWN TRUSTWORTHINESS; IT DOES NOT DENOTE ANY OBJECTIVE, THIRD-PARTY OFFICIAL COMMENDATION, LABEL OR DESIGNATION GRANTED UPON HIM BY ANY ORGANIZATION, INDIVIDUAL OR ENTITY PER SE.