Priest Email Disclaimer / Read Carefully:
ATTORNEY (AND THE PRONOUN "WE") SHALL REFER TO ATTORNEY JOSEPH L. COIMBRA AND/OR HIS EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, VENDORS, AND/OR REPRESENTATIVES IN ANY CAPACITY WHATSOEVER AND/OR COLLECTIVELY "SECOND CHANCES LAW GROUP, APC". THE WORDS AND/OR PHRASES "EMAIL", "CORRESPONDENCE," "LETTER" AND "EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS" SHALL BE USED INTERCHANGEABLY HEREIN. "YOU" AND "RECIPIENT" SHALL BE USED INTERCHANGEABLY WHEN REFERRING TO ANY PERSON READING AND/OR WHO HAS BEEN OR IS PRIVY TO THE EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS.
IF YOU CONTACT US VIA TEXT, STANDARD TEXT MESSAGE RATES MAY APPLY THROUGH YOUR PROVIDER AND/OR ANY OTHER ENTITY(IES). RECEIPT OF EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS IS BY NO MEANS AN ADVERSE REFLECTION ON THE PERSON RECEIVING. YOU ARE NOT RECEIVING THIS EMAIL DUE TO ANY BELIEF THAT YOU ARE UNDER SUSPICION, INVESTIGATION AND/OR OTHERWISE HAVE OR HAVE HAD INTERACTION WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT WITH RESPECT TO ANY SEX CRIME ALLEGATION. THIS MAILER IS NOT A NOTICE THAT YOU ARE UNDER SUSPICION OF ANY CRIMINAL WRONGDOING. INSTEAD, IT IS SIMPLY TO NOTIFY YOU OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR CRIMINAL DEFENSE SERVICES IN THE EVENT THAT YOU ARE SUBJECT TO CITATION, DETENTION, ARREST AND/OR PROSECUTION FOR ANY CRIME, PARTICULARLY AS RELATES TO SEX CRIMES GIVEN THE EXTENSIVE AND ABUNDANT MEDIA COVERAGE OVER THE PAST SEVERAL DECADES WITH RESPECT TO THE OVERLAP BETWEEN CLERGY AND SEXUAL ABUSE. IT IS WORTH REITERATING THAT THIS MAILER IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM ANY COMMUNICATION REGARDING ANY SPECIFICALLY IDENTIFIABLE INCIDENT RELATING TO YOU OR EVEN ANY ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR.
WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS ARRIVING AT YOUR EMAIL INBOX OR OTHERWISE CONVEYED TO YOU DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY. YOU RECEIVED THE EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS ONLY BECAUSE PUBLICLY-AVAILABLE RECORDS SHOW THAT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS, EITHER CURRENTLY OR AT SOME POINT IN THE RECENT OR DISTANT PAST, BELONGED TO AND/OR WAS AND/OR IS BEING USED BY A CATHOLIC PRIEST. AGAIN, OUR LETTER IS MERELY, EXCLUSIVELY AND SIMPLY A STATEMENT OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES, NOTHING MORE. IF IT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU, PLEASE SIMPLY UTILIZE THE "UNSUBSCRIBE" FEATURE IN THE EMAIL AND/OR VERY POLITELY CONTACT OUR OFFICE SO THAT YOU MAY BE REMOVED FROM OUR EMAIL LIST. RUDE AND/OR ABUSIVE COMMUNICATIONS WILL BE CAREFULLY, EXTENSIVELY AND THOROUGHLY DOCUMENTS AND ANY CRIMINAL THREATS AND/OR HARASSMENT WILL BE SWIFTLY REPORTED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT.
FREE CONSULATION WITH ATTORNEY IS IN-PERSON ONLY. HOWEVER, PRIOR THERETO, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO ANSWER A SERIES OF QUESTIONS BY OUR INTAKE PERSONNEL TO BETTER ASSIST IN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR CASE. YOUR APPOINTMENT, IF ANY IS MADE, MAY AND/OR WILL BE CANCELLED IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH THIS OVER-THE-PHONE INTAKE. NOTHING IN AND NONE OF THE VERBIAGE, EXPRESSIONS, WORDS, PHRASES, INSIGNIA AND/OR CHARACTERS OF ANY KIND APPEARING IN OUR EMAIL OR ON ANY OF OUR MATERIALS ON ANY PLATFORM AND IN ANY FORMAT ARE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, OR IN THEIR COMBINED USE, ARE/IS INTENDED TO MISLEAD ANYONE NOR ESTABLISH ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP NOR IMPART ANY LEGAL ADVICE OR COUNSEL NOR GIVE ANY GUARANTEE, WARRANTY NOR PROMISE OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OUTCOME WHATSOEVER.
NO GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, PROMISE, ASSURANCE, AND/OR REPRESENTATION OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OR OTHER DESIRED OUTCOME, IS CONVEYED WHATSOEVER IN OUR EMAIL OR ON ANY OF OUR MATERIALS (NOR IN ANY OTHER COMMUNICATION OR CONVEYANCE IN ANY FORMAT DISSEMINATED OR ESTABLISHED AT ANY TIME). NO ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP IS ESTABLISHED BY YOUR RECEIPT OF OUR COMMUNICATION; IN FACT, A SEPARATE ATTORNEY-CLIENT AGREEMENT AND REMITTAL OF REMUNERATION TO ATTORNEY (IN AN AMOUNT SATISFACTORY TO ATTORNEY) ARE REQUIRED BEFORE ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP CAN OR MAY BE FORMED, CREATED, COMMENCED AND/OR ESTABLISHED.
IN THE EVENT ANY DISCOUNT OR VOUCHER CODE SHOULD APPEAR IN EMAIL OR ON ANY OF OUR MATERIALS: IN ORDER TO RECEIVE ANY DISCOUNT, YOU MUST PRODUCE THE EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS. DISCOUNTS OR VOUCHERS ARE NOT TRANSFERRABLE AND ARE USABLE BY THE INTENDED RECIPIENT ONLY. THE WORDS "DISCOUNT" AND "VOUCHER CODE" ARE INTERCHANGEABLE AND NOT SEPARATE AND DISTINCT. THE INVOCATION OF THE VOUCHER CODE MAY BE INSUFFICIENT; THE EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS MUST BE PRODUCED TO ATTORNEY AND IT MUST NOT HAVE BEEN "FORWARDED" TO YOU BY ANY THIRD PARTY. DISCOUNTS CANNOT BE USED IN COMBINATION; ONE DISCOUNT PER CLIENT AND PER CASE ONLY. DISCOUNT USEABLE AGAINST THE ENTIRE FEE ONLY AND NOT TOWARDS THE DEPOSIT, MONTHLY INSTALLMENTS OR ANY OTHER FRAGMENTS OR FRACTIONS CONTAINED IN THE TOTAL FEE, NOR AGAINST ANY COST REIMBURSEMENTS. ATTORNEY IS NOT UNDER ANY OBLIGATION TO HONOR THE DISCOUNT, NOR VOUCHER CODE; ATTORNEY IS FREE TO SET ANY LIMITATION HE CHOOSES AT ANY TIME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO REFUSAL TO HONOR ANY DISCOUNT OR VOUCHER CODE FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER.
BY CONTACTING OUR OFFICE IN ANY WAY (EITHER YOURSELF OR ANY THIRD PARTY ACTING ON YOUR BEHALF WHATSOEVER), YOU AGREE TO FOLLOWING: BINDING ARBITRATION (IN LA COUNTY), WAIVER OF RIGHT TO JURY TRIAL, WAIVER OF CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS, WAIVER OF PRIVATE ATTORNEY-GENERAL ACTIONS AND/OR ANY OTHER PROCEEDING WHERE SOMEONE ACTS IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, AND PAYMENT OF ATTORNEY'S FEES AND COSTS TO ATTORNEY IN EVENT OF DISPUTE ARISING FROM THIS OR ANY CORRESPONDENCE FROM OUR FIRM OR ANY SUBJECT MATTER WHATSOEVER AND CONSENT TO RECEIVING FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS FROM OUR OFFICE IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER.
IF ANY ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC., WHATSOEVER ARE HELD TO BE UNENFORCEABLE UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, SUCH TERM WILL BE MODIFIED SO THAT IT IS ENFORCEABLE TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, AND ALL THE OTHER TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT. IF THE UNENFORCEABLE ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. IS DEEMED UNENFORCEABLE UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL BE MODIFIED SO THAT IT IS ENFORCEABLE TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, AND ALL THE OTHER TERMS OF THIS DISCLAIMER WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT. IF THE UNENFORCEABLE ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. CANNOT BE SO MODIFIED, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL BE EXCLUDED FROM THIS DISCLAIMER AND ALL OTHER ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT.
WE DO NOT REPRESENT THAT WE HAVE FULL-TIME FACILITY/IES IN YOUR SPECIFIC CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF OUR HEADQUARTERS, REGIONAL OFFICES, IF ANY AVAILABLE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY, ARE CONSULTATIVE ONLY AND ARE NOT FULL-TIME OCCUPANCIES (NEITHER DO WE REPRESENT EITHER IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY THAT THEY ARE ANYTHING EXCEPT CONSULTATIVE FACILITIES, IF ANY); JUXTAPOSITION OF CITY AND 'LAW FIRM' AND/OR 'LAW OFFICE' AND/OR WORD(S) AND/OR PHRASE(S) OF SIMILAR IMPORT IS SIMPLY MEANT TO ILLUSTRATE THE GENERAL AND POSSIBLE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES TO RESIDENTS AND/OR DOMICILIARIES AND/OR OCCUPANTS OF AND/OR PERSON(S) AND/OR ENTITY/IES WHO DO BUSINESS OR ARE EMPLOYED IN THE NAMED CITY/IES, INCLUDING CITY WHERE YOU LIVE, NOT TO CONVEY WE HAVE A FULL-TIME OR EVEN A PART-TIME OFFICE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY.
WE STRIVE FOR ACCURACY; ANY INACCURACY/IES IN THIS LETTER AND/OR IN ANY OF OUR MATERIAL(S) IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER IS/ARE PURELY INADVERTENT. SERVICES ARE NOT FREE. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE A CONSULTATION OR THE ISSUANCE OF A REPLY OR RESPONSE TO ANYBODY FOR ANY REASON AT ANY TIME. ATTORNEY CONDUCTS BUSINESS IN ONLY THE VERY HIGHEST OF FAIR DEALINGS, INTEGRITY, TRUTHFULNESS AND HONESTY AND NOTHING IN THE EMAIL TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS (NOR IN ANY OF OUR MATERIALS IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER) IS INTENDED TO BE ANYTHING EXCEPT COMPLETELY TRUTHFUL, HONEST, UPRIGHT AND ETHICAL. WE ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUMMARILY CANCEL ANY EXISTING APPOINTMENT AT ANY TIME. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT NOT TO RESPOND TO ANY COMMUNICATION CONVEYED TO ATTORNEY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM AND FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. ATTORNEY ALONE DECIDES SUBJECT MATTER, LENGTH AND CONTENT OF YOUR FREE CONSULTATION. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER ESTABLISHES ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER, NOR DOES IT CONVEY ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE, PROMISE AND/OR ELIGIBILITY FOR ANY PARTICULAR TYPE OF LEGAL RELIEF WHATSOEVER NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE AND/OR PROMISE OF ANY POSITIVE, DESIRED OR PARTICULARIZED OUTCOME WHATSOEVER. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (BE IT PROMOTIONAL VERBIAGE, PAST SUCCESS, TESTIMONIALS, AWARDS OR ANYTHING ELSE) IS MEANT TO IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY CONVEY THAT WE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL WITH YOUR CASE. EACH CASE IS DIFFERENT; RESULTS MAY VARY. WE DO NOT REPRESENT YOUR "FREE CONSULTATION" IS ANYTHING EXCEPT A FREE, INITIAL IN-PERSON CONSULTATION WITH THE ATTORNEY.
NOTHING (INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO OUR "REVIEWS", "SUCCESS STORIES", ETC.) IS BY ANY MEANS AN EXPRESSION OF A GUARANTEE, WARRANTY OF ANY COMPARABLE (OR OTHERWISE DESIREABLE OR POSITIVE RESULT IN YOUR PARTICULAR CASE. "AMAZING" (OR ANY SUCH IS A FIGURATIVE AND SUBJECTIVE STATEMENT OF OPINION ONLY AND IS NOT MEANT TO CONVEY ANY PROMISE, WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL OBTAIN A COMPARABLE OR SIMILAR RESULT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT EACH CASE AND ITS ATTENDANT FACTS, COMPLEXITIES AND AVAILABLE REMEDIES CARRY ITS OWN VASTLY UNIQUE, DISTINCT COMPONENTS, REMEDIES, VARIABLES, FACTORS, NUANCES, SUBTLETIES, IDIOSYNRACIES, FACTUAL BACKGROUNDS, FACT PATTERNS, ETC. "TRUSTED" BADGE MERELY DENOTES ATTORNEY'S PERSONAL BELIEF THAT HE IS AN HONEST, ETHICAL AND MORALLY- AND LEGALLY-UPRIGHT IN ALL OF HIS PERSONAL AND BUSINESS DEALINGS, CUSTOMS, HABITS, AND INTERACTIONS WITH HIS CLIENTS AND MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC AND GENERAL BELIEF IN HIS OWN TRUSTWORTHINESS; IT DOES NOT DENOTE ANY OBJECTIVE, THIRD-PARTY OFFICIAL COMMENDATION, LABEL OR DESIGNATION GRANTED UPON HIM BY ANY ORGANIZATION, INDIVIDUAL OR ENTITY PER SE.