Early Termination of Probation 290 Mailer Disclaimer / Read Carefully:
ATTORNEY (AND THE PRONOUN "WE") SHALL REFER TO ATTORNEY JOE COIMBRA AND/OR HIS EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, VENDORS, AND/OR REPRESENTATIVES IN ANY CAPACITY WHATSOEVER AND/OR COLLECTIVELY "SECOND CHANCES LAW GROUP, APC". IF YOU CONTACT US VIA TEXT, STANDARD TEXT MESSAGE RATES MAY APPLY THROUGH YOUR PROVIDER AND/OR ANY OTHER ENTITY(IES). RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IS BY NO MEANS AN ADVERSE REFLECTION ON THE PERSON RECEIVING IT. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY ON PROBATION. IT IS SIMPLY TO NOTIFY THE PERSON OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR CRIMINAL DEFENSE SERVICES IN THE AREAS NOTED ON THE FLYER (FOR ELIGIBLE PROSPECTIVE CLIENTS; ELIGIBILITY MUST BE DETERMINED (MORE BELOW)). THE WORDS AND/OR PHRASES "LETTER", "MAILER" , "MAILER TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS" AND
"MAILER AND ENVELOPE TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS" SHALL BE USED INTERCHANGEABLY HEREIN.
WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS LETTER ARRIVING AT YOUR ADDRESS. YOU RECEIVED THIS LETTER ONLY BECAUSE PUBLICLY-AVAILABLE RECORDS SHOW THAT YOUR RESIDENCE, EITHER CURRENTLY OR AT SOME POINT IN THE RECENT OR DISTANT PAST, HOUSED A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER, ALSO KNOWN AS A 290 REGISTRANT. AGAIN, OUR LETTER IS MERELY, EXCLUSIVELY AND SIMPLY A STATEMENT OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES, NOTHING MORE. IF IT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU, PLEASE MERELY DISREGARD AND/OR POLITELY CONTACT OUR OFFICE SO THAT YOU MAY BE REMOVED FROM OUR MAILING LIST. RUDE AND/OR ABUSIVE COMMUNICATIONS WILL BE CAREFULLY DOCUMENTED AND ANY CRIMINAL THREATS AND/OR HARASSMENT WILL BE SWIFTLY REPORTED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT.
FREE CONSULATION WITH ATTORNEY IS IN-PERSON ONLY. HOWEVER, PRIOR THERETO, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO ANSWER A SERIES OF QUESTIONS BY OUR INTAKE PERSONNEL TO BETTER ASSIST IN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR CASE. YOUR APPOINTMENT, IF ANY IS MADE, WILL BE CANCELLED IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH THIS OVER-THE-PHONE INTAKE. NONE OF THE VERBIAGE, EXPRESSIONS, WORDS, PHRASES, INSIGNIA AND/OR CHARACTERS OF ANY KIND ARE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, OR IN THEIR COMBINED USE, INTENDED TO MISLEAD ANYONE NOR ESTABLISH ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP NOR IMPART ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, WARRANTY NOR PROMISE OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OUTCOME WHATSOEVER.
NO GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, PROMISE, ASSURANCE, AND/OR REPRESENTATION OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OR OTHER DESIRED OUTCOME, IS CONVEYED WHATSOEVER IN OUR LETTER (NOR IN ANY OTHER COMMUNICATION OR CONVEYANCE IN ANY FORMAT DISSEMINATED OR ESTABLISHED AT ANY TIME). NO ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP IS ESTABLISHED BY YOUR RECEIPT OF OUR COMMUNICATION; IN FACT, A SEPARATE ATTORNEY-CLIENT AGREEMENT AND REMITTAL OF REMUNERATION TO ATTORNEY (IN AN AMOUNT SATISFACTORY TO ATTORNEY) ARE REQUIRED BEFORE ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP CAN OR MAY BE FORMED, CREATED, COMMENCED AND/OR ESTABLISHED.
THE WORD "URGENT" AS IN "URGENT LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER" APPEARS MERELY TO INDICATE THE URGENCY THAT ATTORNEY BELIEVES EXISTS WHENEVER CRIMINAL ACCUSATION(S), ALLEGATION(S), INVESTIGATION(S), CONVICTION(S), POST-CONVICTION BURDENS SUCH AS PROBATION (AND/OR ANY OTHER EVENT(S) AT ANY STAGE(S) OF ANY PROCESS RELATING TO CRIMINAL AND/OR PENAL CODE VIOLATION(S) AND/OR ANY OTHER VIOLATIONS OF LOCAL AND/OR STATE AND/OR FEDERAL CODE(S), LAW(S), REGULATION(S), RULE(S), STATUTE(S), ETC.) ARE INVOLVED CONSIDERING THE POTENTIAL HARSHNESS PENALTY/IES, PUNISHMENT(S), POSSIBLE INCARCERATION AND/OR IMPRISONMENT AND/OR LOSS OF FREEDOM AND/OR OTHER ADVERSE CONSEQUENCES ON CERTAIN RIGHTS AND/OR PRIVILEGES SUCH AS BUT NOT LIMITED TO INCARCERATION AND/OR IMPRISONMENT AND/OR PAROLE AND/OR PROBATION AND/OR VIOLATION OF PROBATION ASSOCIATED WITH A CRIMINAL ACCUSATION OR CONVICTION THAT DOES NOT GO ADDRESSED BY COMPETENT LEGAL COUNSEL; IN OTHER WORDS, ATTORNEY REASONABLY AND IN GOOD FAITH BELIEVES THAT ANY CRIMINAL MATTER IS, BY DEFINITION AND/OR IN EFFECT, AN URGENT SITUATION CONSIDERING THE RAPIDITY, VIGOR AND DISCIPLINE WITH WHICH LOCAL AND/OR STATE AND/OR FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT PURSUE PROSECUTIONS, PROBATION VIOLATIONS AND OR ANY OTHER ADVERSE LAW ENFORCEMENT AND/OR PROSECUTORIAL ACTION, THUS NECESSITATING AN URGENT RESPONSE BY COMPETENT LEGAL COUNSEL. IN OTHER WORDS, NEGLECTING SUCH PROSPECTIVE AND/OR ACTUALIZED LEGAL EVENTS MAY BE CATASTROPHIC TO THE PERSON(S) WHO IS THE SUBJECT OF INVESTIGATION AND/OR ARREST AND/OR PROBATION VIOLATION AND/OR PROSECUTION. THEREFORE, IT IS AMPLY AND OBJECTIVELY FAIR TO LABEL ATTORNEY'S LETTER AN "URGENT LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER."
TO RECEIVE DISCOUNT, YOU MUST PRODUCE THIS MAILER AND ENVELOPE TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS (NO REPRODUCTIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED ). THE WORDS "DISCOUNT" AND "VOUCHER CODE" ARE INTERCHANGEABLE AND NOT SEPARATE AND DISTINCT. THE INVOCATION OF THE VOUCHER CODE IS INSUFFICIENT; LETTER RECEIVED BY RECIPIENT WITH ENVELOPE MUST BE PRODUCED TO ATTORNEY. DISCOUNTS CANNOT BE USED IN COMBINATION. ONE DISCOUNT PER CLIENT AND PER CASE ONLY. DISCOUNT USEABLE AGAINST THE ENTIRE FEE ONLY AND NOT TOWARDS THE DEPOSIT, MONTHLY INSTALLMENTS OR ANY OTHER FRAGMENTS OR FRACTIONS CONTAINED IN THE TOTAL FEE, NOR AGAINST ANY COST REIMBURSEMENTS. ATTORNEY IS NOT UNDER ANY OBLIGATION TO HONOR THE DISCOUNT, NOR VOUCHER CODE; ATTORNEY IS FREE TO SET ANY LIMITATION HE CHOOSES AT ANY TIME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO REFUSAL TO HONOR ANY DISCOUNT OR VOUCHER CODE.
BY CONTACTING OUR OFFICE IN ANY WAY (EITHER YOURSELF OR ANY THIRD PARTY ACTING ON YOUR BEHALF WHATSOEVER), YOU AGREE TO FOLLOWING: BINDING ARBITRATION (IN LA COUNTY), WAIVER OF RIGHT TO JURY TRIAL, WAIVER OF CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS, WAIVER OF PRIVATE ATTORNEY-GENERAL ACTIONS AND/OR ANY OTHER PROCEEDING WHERE SOMEONE ACTS IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, AND PAYMENT OF ATTORNEY'S FEES AND COSTS TO ATTORNEY IN EVENT OF DISPUTE ARISING FROM THIS OR ANY CORRESPONDENCE FROM OUR FIRM OR ANY SUBJECT MATTER WHATSOEVER AND CONSENT TO RECEIVING FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS FROM OUR OFFICE IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER.
IF ANY ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC., WHATSOEVER ARE HELD TO BE UNENFORCEABLE UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, SUCH TERM WILL BE MODIFIED SO THAT IT IS ENFORCEABLE TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, AND ALL THE OTHER TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT. IF THE UNENFORCEABLE ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. IS DEEMED UNENFORCEABLE UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL BE MODIFIED SO THAT IT IS ENFORCEABLE TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, AND ALL THE OTHER TERMS OF THIS DISCLAIMER WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT. IF THE UNENFORCEABLE ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. CANNOT BE SO MODIFIED, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL BE EXCLUDED FROM THIS DISCLAIMER AND ALL OTHER ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT.
WE DO NOT REPRESENT THAT WE HAVE FULL-TIME FACILITY/IES IN YOUR SPECIFIC CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF OUR HEADQUARTERS, REGIONAL OFFICES, IF ANY AVAILABLE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY, ARE CONSULTATIVE ONLY AND ARE NOT FULL-TIME OCCUPANCIES (NEITHER DO WE REPRESENT EITHER IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY THAT THEY ARE ANYTHING EXCEPT CONSULTATIVE FACILITIES, IF ANY); JUXTAPOSITION OF CITY AND 'LAW FIRM' AND/OR 'LAW OFFICE' AND/OR WORD(S) AND/OR PHRASE(S) OF SIMILAR IMPORT ON ENVELOPE IS SIMPLY MEANT TO ILLUSTRATE THE GENERAL AND POSSIBLE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES TO RESIDENTS AND/OR DOMICILIARIES AND/OR OCCUPANTS OF AND/OR PERSON(S) AND/OR ENTITY/IES WHO DO BUSINESS OR ARE EMPLOYED IN THE NAMED CITY/IES, INCLUDING CITY WHERE YOU LIVE, NOT TO CONVEY WE HAVE A FULL-TIME OR EVEN A PART-TIME OFFICE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY.
WE STRIVE FOR ACCURACY; ANY INACCURACY/IES IN THIS LETTER AND/OR IN ANY OF OUR PROMOTIONAL OR ANY MATERIAL(S) IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER IS/ARE PURELY INADVERTENT. SERVICES ARE NOT FREE. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE A CONSULTATION TO ANYBODY FOR ANY REASON. ATTORNEY CONDUCTS BUSINESS IN ONLY THE VERY HIGHEST OF FAIR DEALINGS, INTEGRITY, TRUTHFULNESS AND HONESTY AND NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (NOR IN ANY OF OUR MATERIALS IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER) IS INTENDED TO BE ANYTHING EXCEPT COMPLETELY TRUTHFUL, HONEST, UPRIGHT AND ETHICAL. WE ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUMMARILY CANCEL ANY EXISTING APPOINTMENT AT ANY TIME. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT NOT TO RESPOND TO ANY COMMUNICATION CONVEYED TO ATTORNEY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM AND FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. ATTORNEY ALONE DECIDES SUBJECT MATTER, LENGTH AND CONTENT OF YOUR FREE CONSULTATION. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER ESTABLISHES ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER, NOR DOES IT CONVEY ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE, PROMISE AND/OR ELIGIBILITY FOR ANY PARTICULAR TYPE OF LEGAL RELIEF WHATSOEVER NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE AND/OR PROMISE OF ANY POSITIVE, DESIRED OR PARTICULARIZED OUTCOME WHATSOEVER. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (BE IT PROMOTIONAL VERBIAGE, PAST SUCCESS, TESTIMONIALS, AWARDS OR ANYTHING ELSE) IS MEANT TO IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY CONVEY THAT WE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL WITH YOUR CASE. EACH CASE IS DIFFERENT; RESULTS MAY VARY. WE DO NOT REPRESENT YOUR "FREE CONSULTATION" IS ANYTHING EXCEPT A FREE, INITIAL IN-PERSON CONSULTATION WITH THE ATTORNEY.
"VIEW OUR AMAZING CASE RESULTS" IS BY NO MEANS ANY EXPRESSION OF A GUARANTEE, WARRANTY OF ANY COMPARABLE RESULT IN YOUR PARTICULAR CASE. "AMAZING" IS A FIGURATIVE AND SUBJECTIVE STATEMENT OF OPINION ONLY AND IS NOT MEANT TO CONVEY ANY PROMISE, WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL OBTAIN A COMPARABLE OR SIMILAR RESULT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT EACH CASE AND ITS ATTENDANT FACTS, COMPLEXITIES AND AVAILABLE REMEDIES CARRY ITS OWN VASTLY UNIQUE, DISTINCT COMPONENTS, REMEDIES, VARIABLES, FACTORS, NUANCES, SUBTLETIES, IDIOSYNRACIES, FACTUAL BACKGROUNDS, FACT PATTERNS, ETC. "TRUSTED" BADGE MERELY DENOTES ATTORNEY'S PERSONAL BELIEF THAT HE IS AN HONEST, ETHICAL AND MORALLY- AND LEGALLY-UPRIGHT IN ALL OF HIS PERSONAL AND BUSINESS DEALINGS, CUSTOMS, HABITS, AND INTERACTIONS WITH HIS CLIENTS AND MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC AND GENERAL BELIEF IN HIS OWN TRUSTWORTHINESS; IT DOES NOT DENOTE ANY OBJECTIVE, THIRD-PARTY OFFICIAL COMMENDATION, LABEL OR DESIGNATION GRANTED UPON HIM BY ANY ORGANIZATION, INDIVIDUAL OR ENTITY PER SE.
"GET OFF PROBATION EARLY AND SAVE 290.00 DOING IT!" IS MERELY TO CONVEY THAT OUR OFFICE CAN REPRESENT YOU TO TERMINATE YOUR PROBATION EARLY IF YOU MEET CRITERIA OF ELIGIBILITY AND IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM A CONVEYANCE OR REPRESENTATION THAT YOU WILL NECESSARILY GET OFF PROBATION (PARTICULARLY IN VIEW THAT WE OFFER NO PROMISE, WARRANTY, ASSURANCE OR GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL GET OFF PROBATION EARLY OR ENJOY ANY PARTICULAR ELIGIBILITY OR FAVORABLE OR PARTICULAR OUTCOME WHATSOEVER). THE INCLUSION OF "SAVE $290.00 DOING IT" IS MERELY TO ILLUSTRATE THAT WE MAY REDEEM YOUR DISCOUNT THAT APPEARS ON OUR MAILER IF WE SO CHOOSE; IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU WILL SIMULTANEOUSLY ENJOY $290.00 WORTH OF SAVINGS WHILE GETTING OFF PROBATION. THE INCLUSION OF THIS PHRASE IS SIMPLY TO CONVEY THAT THE TWO THINGS MAY CONTEMPORANEOUSLY OCCUR: (1) YOUR CONTRACTING OUR OFFICE TO ASSIST YOU WITH A MOTION FOR EARLY TERMINATION OF PROBATION AND (2) OUR OFFICE CHOOSING TO REDEEM YOUR $290.00 DISCOUNT (SO LONG AS YOU FULFILL THE CRITERIA SET OUT ABOVE, INCLUDING THAT YOU MUST PRODUCE THE MAILER AND ENVELOPE TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS SUCH THAT NO REPRODUCTIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED).
"HAVING TO 'WALK ON THIN ICE' KNOWING YOU'LL GET LOCKED UP IF YOU SLIP UP JUST ONCE?!" REFERS TO THE VARIOUS PROBATION OBLIGATIONS GENERALLY IMPOSED BY COURT, THE VIOLATION AND/OR FAILURE TO LIVE UP TO MAY RESULT IN DRASTIC CONSEQUENCES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INCARCERABLE REPERCUSSIONS, I.E., JAIL AND/OR PRISON. THE SPECTRE OF THIS POSSIBILITY, ALSO, ADDS TO THE URGENCY OF THE MAILER.
THE PHRASE "TAKE YOUR FIRST STEP TOWARD FREEDOM" AS A PREFACE TO "CALL TODAY, TOLL FREE" IS FIGURATIVE ONLY AND NOT TO BE CONSTRUED LITERALLY. OBVIOUSLY, THE MERE ACT OF PLACING A PHONE CALL DOES NOT NECESSARILY DENOTE THE INEVITABILITY OF YOUR "FREEDOM"; THE INSERTION OF THIS PHRASE IS MERELY TO ILLUSTRATE THE CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS THAT WE ARE OPTIMISTIC WOULD OCCUR: A QUALIFIED RECIPIENT WHO IS ON PROBATION CALLS, AN APPOINTMENT IS SET UP TO MEET WITH THE ATTORNEY, THE ATTORNEY UNDERTAKES REPRESENTATION AFTER AN AGREEMENT IS REACHED, A MOTION TO TERMINATE PROBATION EARLY IS FILED AND GRANTED BY A COURT OF APPLICABLE JURISDICTION AND THE RECIPIENT (THEN-CLIENT) WOULD BE "FREE" FROM PROBATION. THE TERM "FREEDOM" IS NOT UTILIZED OR CONVEYED OR INTENDED TO CONVEY "FREEDOM" OR "LIBERTY" IN ANY ABSOLUTE AND/OR OBJECTIVE TERMS; IT IS SUBJECTIVE AND FIGURATIVE (IF NOT, SYMBOLIC) ONLY AND MEANT TO CONVEY (ANALOGOUSLY OR FIGURATIVELY) THE FIRST "LOOP" OR "TORUS" OF THE CHAIN OF EVENTS FOR WHICH THIS MAILER IS INTENDED.
REGARDING "SERVICES AVAILABLE", "CHALLENGING 290 REGISTRATION" DOES NOT DENOTE ONE SPECIFIC FORM OFRELIEF, BUT, RATHER, WHATEVER PROCESS MAY BE AVAILABLE TO CHALLENGE THE UNDERLYING CONVICTION THAT TRIGGERED PC 290 REGISTRATION IN THE FIRST PLACE AND/OR OTHER AVAILABLE REMEDY, IF ANY. "REPRESENTATION WITH TRAVEL ISSUES" DENOTES A VERY GENERAL FORM OF REPRESENTATION WHICH MAY INCLUDE MERELY THE FORMULATION AND PROVISION TO CLIENT OF A LETTER (FOR CLIENT'S EDIFICATION) ENUMERATING CLIENT'S RIGHTS UNDER APPLICABLE TREATIES AND DOES NOT DENOTE THAT ANY LITIGATION SERVICES ARE OFFERED IN THIS REGARD WHATSOEVER. ANY SERVICE LISTED (OR NOT LISTED BY PROVIDED BY ATTORNEY) IS CONTINGENT ON ATTORNEY'S REASONABLE GOOD FAITH BELIEF THAT THE YOU (I.E., RECIPIENT, PROSPECTIVE CLIENT, ETC.) QUALIFY ONLY; NO ELIGIBILITY FOR THESE OR ANY OTHER SERVICES IS PROMISED, WARRANTED, ASSURED AND/OR GUARANTEED WHATSOEVER.
"SCHEDULE YOUR FREE IN-PERSON CONSULT WITH AWARD-WINNING COUNSEL" IS INTENDED MERELY TO ILLUSTRATE ATTORNEY'S READINESS, WILLINGNESS AND ABILITY TO MEET WITH PROSPECTIVE PERSONS WITH WHOM ATTORNEY, IN HIS SOLE DISCRETION, CHOOSES TO MEET. ATTORNEY HAS IN FACT BEEN AWARDED AS DELINEATED IN OUR LETTER BY VIRTUE OF THE INCLUSION OF AWARD INSIGNIA (EXCEPT FOR THE "TRUSTED" BADGE WHICH IS INCLUDED MERELY TO DENOTE ATTORNEY'S REASONABLE AND OBJECTIVELY GOOD FAITH BELIEF IN HIS INTEGRITY, HONESTY AND FAIR DEALINGS WITH THE PUBLIC; THIS BADGE DOES NOT REFLECT ANY AWARD PER SE). HOWEVER, THE FACT THAT ATTORNEY HAS BEEN BESTOWED WITH AWARDS (AND THE CONVEYANCE OF SUCH IN ANY OF OUR LITERATURE IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE LETTER TO WHICH THIS DISCLAIMER CORRESPONDS) IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM IS MEANT TO CONVEY ANY PROMISE, ASSURANCE, WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE OF ANY PARTICULARIZED (I.E., FAVORABLE) OUTCOME OR RESULT IN YOUR CASE, WHICH IS ENTIRELY CONTINGENT ON THE IDIOSYNCRACIES OF YOUR CASE AND A MYRIAD FACTORS INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE FAVORABLE OR ADVERSE APPLICABILITY OF EXISTING LAW TO YOUR CASE AND THE PARTICULARS OF THE FACT PATTERN UNDERLYING YOUR CASE).