Dental Mailer Disclaimer / Read Carefully:
ATTORNEY (AND THE PRONOUN "WE") SHALL REFER TO ATTORNEY JOE COIMBRA AND/OR HIS EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, VENDORS, AND/OR REPRESENTATIVES IN ANY CAPACITY WHATSOEVER AND/OR COLLECTIVELY "SECOND CHANCES LAW GROUP, APC". IF YOU CONTACT US VIA TEXT, STANDARD TEXT MESSAGE RATES MAY APPLY THROUGH YOUR PROVIDER AND/OR ANY OTHER ENTITY(IES). RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IS BY NO MEANS AN ADVERSE REFLECTION ON THE PERSON(S) AND/OR ENTITY/IES RECEIVING IT. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU CURRENTLY AND/OR PREVIOUSLY HAVE SUSTAINED ANY CRIMINAL ARREST, INVESTIGATION, CONVICTION, LICENSE DISCIPLINE AND/OR ANY OTHER NEGATIVE LAW ENFORCEMENT CONTACT AND/OR ADVERSE DENTAL BOARD ACTION. IT IS SIMPLY TO NOTIFY THE RECIPIENT OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR DENTAL BOARD REPRESENTATION SERVICES AND OUR CRIMINAL DEFENSE SERVICES IN THE AREAS NOTED ON THE FLYER.
WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS LETTER ARRIVING AT YOUR ADDRESS. YOU RECEIVED THIS LETTER ONLY BECAUSE PUBLICLY-AVAILABLE RECORDS SHOW THAT YOUR RESIDENCE AND/OR PLACE OF BUSINESS, EITHER CURRENTLY OR AT SOME POINT IN THE RECENT OR DISTANT PAST, HOUSED A PERSON AND/OR ENTITY IN THE SECURITY INDUSTRY. AGAIN, OUR LETTER IS MERELY, EXCLUSIVELY AND SIMPLY A STATEMENT OF THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES, NOTHING MORE. IF IT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU, PLEASE MERELY DISREGARD AND/OR POLITELY CONTACT OUR OFFICE SO THAT YOU MAY BE REMOVED FROM OUR MAILING LIST. RUDE AND/OR ABUSIVE COMMUNICATIONS WILL BE CAREFULLY DOCUMENTED AND ANY CRIMINAL THREATS AND/OR HARASSMENT WILL BE SWIFTLY REPORTED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT.
FREE CONSULATION WITH ATTORNEY IS IN-PERSON ONLY. HOWEVER, PRIOR THERETO, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO ANSWER A SERIES OF QUESTIONS BY OUR INTAKE PERSONNEL TO BETTER ASSIST IN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR CASE. YOUR APPOINTMENT, IF ANY IS MADE, WILL BE CANCELLED IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH THIS OVER-THE-PHONE INTAKE. NONE OF THE VERBIAGE, EXPRESSIONS, WORDS, PHRASES, INSIGNIA AND/OR CHARACTERS OF ANY KIND ARE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, OR IN THEIR COMBINED USE, INTENDED TO MISLEAD ANYONE NOR ESTABLISH ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP NOR IMPART ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, WARRANTY NOR PROMISE OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OUTCOME WHATSOEVER.
NO GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, PROMISE, ASSURANCE, AND/OR REPRESENTATION OF ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO A "POSITIVE" OR OTHER DESIRED OUTCOME, IS CONVEYED WHATSOEVER IN OUR LETTER (NOR IN ANY OTHER COMMUNICATION OR CONVEYANCE IN ANY FORMAT DISSEMINATED OR ESTABLISHED AT ANY TIME). NO ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP IS ESTABLISHED BY YOUR RECEIPT OF OUR COMMUNICATION; IN FACT, A SEPARATE ATTORNEY-CLIENT AGREEMENT AND REMITTAL OF REMUNERATION TO ATTORNEY (IN AN AMOUNT SATISFACTORY TO ATTORNEY) ARE REQUIRED BEFORE ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP CAN OR MAY BE FORMED, CREATED, COMMENCED AND/OR ESTABLISHED.
THE WORD "EMERGENCY" AS IN "EMERGENCY LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER" APPEARS MERELY TO INDICATE THE URGENCY AND EXIGENCY THAT ATTORNEY BELIEVES EXISTS WHENEVER CRIMINAL ACCUSATION(S), ALLEGATION(S), INVESTIGATION(S), CONVICTION(S), POST-CONVICTION BURDENS SUCH AS PROBATION (AND/OR ANY OTHER EVENT(S) AT ANY STAGE(S) OF ANY PROCESS RELATING TO CRIMINAL AND/OR PENAL CODE VIOLATION(S) AND/OR ANY OTHER VIOLATIONS OF LOCAL AND/OR STATE AND/OR FEDERAL CODE(S), LAW(S), REGULATION(S), RULE(S), STATUTE(S), ETC.) AND/OR DENTAL BOARD OF CALIFORNIA ADVERSE ACTIONS ARE INVOLVED CONSIDERING THE POTENTIAL HARSHNESS PENALTY/IES, PUNISHMENT(S), POSSIBLE INCARCERATION AND/OR IMPRISONMENT AND/OR LOSS OF FREEDOM AND/OR LOSS OF (I.E., SUSPENSION, REVOCATION AND/OR ANY OTHER ENCUMBRANCE UPON) PROFESSIONAL AND/OR VOCATIONAL LICENSING OTHER ADVERSE CONSEQUENCES ON CERTAIN RIGHTS AND/OR PRIVILEGES SUCH AS BUT NOT LIMITED TO INCARCERATION AND/OR IMPRISONMENT AND/OR PAROLE AND/OR PROBATION AND/OR VIOLATION OF PROBATION ASSOCIATED WITH A CRIMINAL ACCUSATION OR CONVICTION THAT DOES NOT GO TIMELY AND DILIGENTLY ADDRESSED BY COMPETENT LEGAL COUNSEL; IN OTHER WORDS, ATTORNEY REASONABLY AND IN GOOD FAITH BELIEVES THAT ANY CRIMINAL MATTER AS WELL AS LICENSING MATTER IS, BY DEFINITION AND/OR IN EFFECT, AN EMERGENCY SITUATION CONSIDERING THE RAPIDITY, VIGOR AND DISCIPLINE WITH WHICH LOCAL AND/OR STATE AND/OR FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AND/OR LICENSING AUTHORITIES PURSUE PROSECUTIONS, PROBATION VIOLATIONS AND OR ANY OTHER ADVERSE LAW ENFORCEMENT AND/OR PROSECUTORIAL ACTION AND/OR ADVERSE LICENSING ACTION, THUS NECESSITATING AN IMMEDIATE (I.E., "EMERGENCY") RESPONSE BY COMPETENT LEGAL COUNSEL. IN OTHER WORDS, NEGLECTING SUCH PROSPECTIVE AND/OR ACTUALIZED LEGAL EVENTS MAY BE CATASTROPHIC TO THE PERSON(S) WHO IS THE SUBJECT OF INVESTIGATION AND/OR ARREST AND/OR PROBATION VIOLATION AND/OR PROSECUTION. THEREFORE, IT IS AMPLY AND OBJECTIVELY FAIR TO LABEL ATTORNEY'S LETTER AN "EMERGENCY LAW FIRM NEWSLETTER."
TO RECEIVE DISCOUNT, YOU MUST PRODUCE THIS LETTER (NO REPRODUCTIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED ). THE WORDS "DISCOUNT" AND "VOUCHER CODE" ARE INTERCHANGEABLE AND NOT SEPARATE AND DISTINCT. THE INVOCATION OF THE VOUCHER CODE IS INSUFFICIENT; LETTER RECEIVED BY RECIPIENT WITH ENVELOPE MUST BE PRODUCED TO ATTORNEY. DISCOUNTS CANNOT BE USED IN COMBINATION. ONE DISCOUNT PER CLIENT AND PER CASE ONLY. DISCOUNT USEABLE AGAINST THE ENTIRE FEE ONLY AND NOT TOWARDS THE DEPOSIT, MONTHLY INSTALLMENTS OR ANY OTHER FRAGMENTS OR FRACTIONS CONTAINED IN THE TOTAL FEE, NOR AGAINST ANY COST REIMBURSEMENTS. ATTORNEY IS NOT UNDER ANY OBLIGATION TO HONOR THE DISCOUNT, NOR VOUCHER CODE; ATTORNEY IS FREE TO SET ANY LIMITATION HE CHOOSES AT ANY TIME, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO REFUSAL TO HONOR ANY DISCOUNT OR VOUCHER CODE.
BY CONTACTING OUR OFFICE IN ANY WAY (EITHER YOURSELF OR ANY THIRD PARTY ACTING ON YOUR BEHALF WHATSOEVER), YOU AGREE TO FOLLOWING: BINDING ARBITRATION (IN LA COUNTY), WAIVER OF RIGHT TO JURY TRIAL, WAIVER OF CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS, WAIVER OF PRIVATE ATTORNEY-GENERAL ACTIONS AND/OR ANY OTHER PROCEEDING WHERE SOMEONE ACTS IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITY, AND PAYMENT OF ATTORNEY'S FEES AND COSTS TO ATTORNEY IN EVENT OF DISPUTE ARISING FROM THIS OR ANY CORRESPONDENCE FROM OUR FIRM OR ANY SUBJECT MATTER WHATSOEVER AND CONSENT TO RECEIVING FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS FROM OUR OFFICE IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER.
IF ANY ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC., WHATSOEVER ARE HELD TO BE UNENFORCEABLE UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, SUCH TERM WILL BE MODIFIED SO THAT IT IS ENFORCEABLE TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, AND ALL THE OTHER TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT. IF THE UNENFORCEABLE ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. IS DEEMED UNENFORCEABLE UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL BE MODIFIED SO THAT IT IS ENFORCEABLE TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW, AND ALL THE OTHER TERMS OF THIS DISCLAIMER WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT. IF THE UNENFORCEABLE ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. CANNOT BE SO MODIFIED, SUCH ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL BE EXCLUDED FROM THIS DISCLAIMER AND ALL OTHER ASPECT(S), TERM(S), CLAUSE(S), PROVISION(S), WORD(S), PHRASE(S), CONVEYANCE(S), ETC. WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT.
WE DO NOT REPRESENT THAT WE HAVE FULL-TIME FACILITY/IES IN YOUR SPECIFIC CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF OUR HEADQUARTERS, REGIONAL OFFICES, IF ANY AVAILABLE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY, ARE CONSULTATIVE ONLY AND ARE NOT FULL-TIME OCCUPANCIES (NEITHER DO WE REPRESENT EITHER IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY THAT THEY ARE ANYTHING EXCEPT CONSULTATIVE FACILITIES, IF ANY); JUXTAPOSITION OF CITY AND 'LAW FIRM' AND/OR 'LAW OFFICE' AND/OR WORD(S) AND/OR PHRASE(S) OF SIMILAR IMPORT ON ENVELOPE IS SIMPLY MEANT TO ILLUSTRATE THE GENERAL AND POSSIBLE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES TO RESIDENTS AND/OR DOMICILIARIES AND/OR OCCUPANTS OF AND/OR PERSON(S) AND/OR ENTITY/IES WHO DO BUSINESS OR ARE EMPLOYED IN THE NAMED CITY/IES, INCLUDING CITY WHERE YOU LIVE, NOT TO CONVEY WE HAVE A FULL-TIME OR EVEN A PART-TIME OFFICE IN YOUR CITY, LOCALE OR PROXIMITY.
WE STRIVE FOR ACCURACY; ANY INACCURACY/IES IN THIS LETTER AND/OR IN ANY OF OUR PROMOTIONAL OR ANY MATERIAL(S) IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER IS/ARE PURELY INADVERTENT. SERVICES ARE NOT FREE. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE A CONSULTATION TO ANYBODY FOR ANY REASON. ATTORNEY CONDUCTS BUSINESS IN ONLY THE VERY HIGHEST OF FAIR DEALINGS, INTEGRITY, TRUTHFULNESS AND HONESTY AND NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (NOR IN ANY OF OUR MATERIALS IN ANY FORMAT WHATSOEVER) IS INTENDED TO BE ANYTHING EXCEPT COMPLETELY TRUTHFUL, HONEST, UPRIGHT AND ETHICAL. WE ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUMMARILY CANCEL ANY EXISTING APPOINTMENT AT ANY TIME. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT NOT TO RESPOND TO ANY COMMUNICATION CONVEYED TO ATTORNEY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM AND FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. ATTORNEY ALONE DECIDES SUBJECT MATTER, LENGTH AND CONTENT OF YOUR FREE CONSULTATION. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER ESTABLISHES ANY ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER, NOR DOES IT CONVEY ANY LEGAL ADVICE NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE, PROMISE AND/OR ELIGIBILITY FOR ANY PARTICULAR TYPE OF LEGAL RELIEF WHATSOEVER NOR ANY GUARANTEE, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS WARRANTY, ASSURANCE AND/OR PROMISE OF ANY POSITIVE, DESIRED OR PARTICULARIZED OUTCOME WHATSOEVER. NOTHING IN THIS LETTER (BE IT PROMOTIONAL VERBIAGE, PAST SUCCESS, TESTIMONIALS, AWARDS OR ANYTHING ELSE) IS MEANT TO IMPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY CONVEY THAT WE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL WITH YOUR CASE. EACH CASE IS DIFFERENT; RESULTS MAY VARY. WE DO NOT REPRESENT YOUR "FREE CONSULTATION" IS ANYTHING EXCEPT A FREE, INITIAL IN-PERSON CONSULTATION WITH THE ATTORNEY.
THE WORDS "WHO WILL YOU TURN TO IF AND/OR WHEN YOU ARE EVER ARRESTED, INDICTED AND/OR YOUR LICENSE IS REVOKED?" ARE NOT INTENDED TO CONVEY THAT ARREST AND/OR INDICTMENT AND/OR ADVERSE LICENSING ACTION ARE INEVITABLE, INEXORABLE OR UNAVOIDABLE. THIS QUESTION IS MERELY A RHETORICAL QUESTION TO BRING THE AVAILABILITY OF OUR SERVICES TO THE ATTENTION OF THE RECIPIENT AND IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM AN ADVERSE REFLECTION ON THE RECIPIENT(S). "CALL OR TEXT / DAY OR NIGHT" IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM INTENDED TO CONVEY THAT OUR OFFICE IS OPEN TWENTY-FOUR (24) HOURS A DAY OR THAT YOU RECEIVE AN IMMEDIATE REPLY AND/OR RESPONSE IF YOU TEXT THAT NUMBER. IT IS ONLY TO DEMONSTRATE THE ENTHUSIASTIC RECEPTIVITY TO YOUR COMMUNICATIONS IF YOU REQUIRE OUR SERVICES.
REGARDING THE PHRASE "OUR DEFENSE ATTORNEYS HAVE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE HELPING PROFESSIONALS AVOID LOSING THEIR LICENSES IN DISCIPLINARY ACTIONS AND KEEPING THEM OUT OF JAIL", THE WORD "OUR DEFENSE ATTORNEYS" IS INTENDED TO BE TANTAMOUNT TO "OUR LAW FIRM" ONLY AND IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM IS INTENDED TO COMMUNICATE THAT WE HAVE ASSOCIATE ATTORNEYS WITHIN OUR FIRM AT ALL TIMES, THOUGH WE DO OCCASIONALLY UTILIZE APPEARANCE ATTORNEYS IN CERTAIN CASES. "OUR DEFENSE ATTORNEYS" IS ACCURATE INSOFAR IS WE READILY DEPLOY OTHER ATTORNEYS OUTSIDE OF OUR FIRM WHO WORK IN AN APPEARANCE CAPACITY AND/OR INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR CAPACITY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO MISLEAD THE READER IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. "PROFESSIONALS" IS A GENERIC, OPEN-ENDED TERM THAT MAY INCLUDE ANY AND ALL VOCATIONS, OCCUPATIONS AND/OR PROFESSIONS AND DOES NOT NECESSARILY ENCOMPASS DENTISTS ALTHOUGH WE OFFER OUR CRIMINAL DEFENSE SERVICES TO ANYONE IN NEED REGARDLESS OF THEIR PROFESSION AND/OR OCCUPATION AND/OR VOCATION INSOFAR AS THERE IS A MUTUAL AGREEMENT TO ENTER INTO AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP. WE DO NOT WARRANT THAT WE HAVE ROUTINELY REPRESENTED DENTISTS. WE HAVE, IN FACT, REPRESENT CLIENTS IN HELPING GUARD AGAINST ADVERSE ACTION BY APPLICABLE LICENSING AGENCY/IES.
REGARDING THE PHRASE: "TRUSTED LICENSING & CRIMINAL DEFENSE LAW FIRM FOR DENTAL PROFESSIONALS", THE WORD "TRUSTED" IS MERELY INCLUDED TO COMMUNICATE ATTORNEY'S OWN BELIEF IN ATTORNEY'S INTEGRITY, ETHICS AND HONESTY, CONCEPTS SYNONYMOUS WITH AND IMPLICIT IN THE ROOT WORD "TRUST". NOTHING IN THIS WORD, THE PHRASE IN WHICH IT APPEARS OR COMBINATION AND/OR JUXTAPOSITION OF WORDS (OR IN ANY WORDS, ANY PHRASES, ANY COMBINATIONS AND/OR ANY JUXTAPOSITIONS OF ANY WORDS ON THIS LETTER AND/OR ANY OTHER PROMOTIONAL MATERIALS FROM ATTORNEY IN ANY FORMAT) IS INTENDED TO MISLEAD OR BE ANYTHING EXCEPT ACCURATE AND TRUTHFUL. ANY INACCURACY IN ANY OF OUR MATERIALS, INCLUDED BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE MAILER CORRESPONDING TO THIS DISCLAIMER, IS ACCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL ONLY.
"VIEW OUR AMAZING CASE RESULTS" IS BY NO MEANS ANY EXPRESSION OF A GUARANTEE, WARRANTY OF ANY COMPARABLE RESULT IN YOUR PARTICULAR CASE. "AMAZING" IS A FIGURATIVE AND SUBJECTIVE STATEMENT OF OPINION ONLY AND IS NOT MEANT TO CONVEY ANY PROMISE, WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL OBTAIN A COMPARABLE OR SIMILAR RESULT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT EACH CASE AND ITS ATTENDANT FACTS, COMPLEXITIES AND AVAILABLE REMEDIES CARRY ITS OWN VASTLY UNIQUE, DISTINCT COMPONENTS, REMEDIES, VARIABLES, FACTORS, NUANCES, SUBTLETIES, IDIOSYNRACIES, FACTUAL BACKGROUNDS, FACT PATTERNS, ETC. "TRUSTED" BADGE MERELY DENOTES ATTORNEY'S PERSONAL BELIEF THAT HE IS AN HONEST, ETHICAL AND MORALLY- AND LEGALLY-UPRIGHT IN ALL OF HIS PERSONAL AND BUSINESS DEALINGS, CUSTOMS, HABITS, AND INTERACTIONS WITH HIS CLIENTS AND MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC AND GENERAL BELIEF IN HIS OWN TRUSTWORTHINESS; IT DOES NOT DENOTE ANY OBJECTIVE, THIRD-PARTY OFFICIAL COMMENDATION, LABEL OR DESIGNATION GRANTED UPON HIM BY ANY ORGANIZATION, INDIVIDUAL OR ENTITY PER SE.